Day 51 - Aghast...

Kierstie and I got news today.  Terrible news.  Family friends were injured very, very badly by what appears to be a drunk/altered driver.  These family friends were as close to blood family as someone can get and I'm so fucking mad, I could choke the bastard.  Surrogate parents senselessly hurt while the perpetrator of the lunacy walks away, thankfully in handcuffs.

Names and details are not mine to provide, it's not my place to advertise the misfortune of others.  I will say that we should all take a firm stance on those who drink and drive.  Call them out.  Tell them that they have no business risking the life, health or happiness of others.  It's beyond selfish.  There are those who say "I've been doing it for years, I'm fine." or "I drive better after a few." and to that, I say one thing.  Fuck you!  You have no right.  I'm not perfect.  I've made mistakes, we all do, but this is bullshit.  It's not only selfish, it's illegal, and everyone damn well knows it.  If you want to drink or get stoned, go right ahead.  More power to you.  I enjoy both activities from time to time.  Just don't risk others while you do it by getting behind the wheel after.  

Kierstie has been crying on and off all afternoon.  I've been brooding and clenching.  The thought of those close to us in distress is beyond disheartening, especially with us so far away from everyone.

We send our love and hope to all involved, stay strong.  The lesson for the day should be more than obvious.

 

 

Day 50 - Dog Days

Word for the day...sick.  Chest cold, barking like a dog with all the coughing.  I've been remiss in my postings but I've been so lazy and tired over the past few days.  I wake up feeling crappy, get better throughout the course of the day, then feel crappy later on again.  With Amsterdam and Rome on the horizon, I'm freaked I'll be sick for the trip.  Here's to hoping I get over it soon.

Cary's final show in Starlight was this past Sunday.  He hosted an annual awards show for the cast after and we had another club party following.  Cary rocked it, both the show and the awards presentation, along with his co-presenter, Emma-Katie.  The jokes and gags were all fun and because it was Cary's last show, the cast was having some fun.  They were changing the props, singing in English (a treat for me) and generally causing shit on stage.  Priceless.

Some pics of the party for you to enjoy...

Time for some sleep now, need more recuperative sleep.  Lesson for the day.  Don't get sick before the trip of a lifetime and if you do...sleep as much as you can!

zzzz

Ian 
 

Day 45 - There's a Tear in my Fracking Beer

Are you familiar with the term "fracking"?  Well, it's very technical and involves hydraulic fracturing of shale to tap shale gasses.  Basically, it's a way to harvest gas from the earth and, according the the small amount of research I've done, it's not very environmentally friendly.  Elections are looming here in Germany and a very powerful lobby group has decided to stand up and express their opinion, and it's an opinion that the people of Germany will likely listen to.  The Association of German Brewers.  Yes, the beer makers.  

A story by Stefan Nicola in the Toronto Star this Friday says that the Brewers of Germany are concerned that the practice will contaminate ground water, breaking the oldest food safety law in the world...Reinheitsgebot, or Purity Law for the beer.  I've stated in previous entries in this blog that the Germans take their beer seriously.  This story just goes to prove the statement even further.  They love beer.  It's taxed here at a much lower rate than other products for one simple reason, it's considered a human right.  If you look at the link for the Star article, you'll see a picture at the top of a politician, Angela Merkel, pounding back a liter of beer...while on campaign.  They shake hands, kiss babies and make speeches, all while tipping back the steins.  That's just badass.  I'm convinced that Canadian politics would be much more interesting if beer was involved.  Can't you just picture the speaker of the house tipping back a quart of Export while a raucous bar fight broke out on the floor?  It would be epic.

This leads to a segue into the next part of my entry.  Previously I blogged the Dortmund hooligans.  Loud and proud, those ones.  Well, today was the Champions League final between Dortmund and Munich.  It's Europe's biggest tournament and the game took place in London.  And us, in our infinite wisdom, picked today to travel to Dortmund to go shopping.  The train trip was full of beer swilling and chanting...and chanting...and chanting.  

A man near us on the train got upset.  He was not happy with the chanting so he decided to go and tell the hooligans they were being too loud.  He walked to the end of the car and approached them.  I didn't see or hear what he said, but there was hysterical laughter followed immediately by more chanting, at double the volume, with a saxophone and accordion accompaniment.  He walked back to his spot with his head hanging in shame while the rest of the train just shook their head at his stupidity.  Honestly, would you approach a bunch a drunk soccer hooligans in an enclosed space and tell them to shut up?  Talk about a death wish, yet it was still early and Dortmund had not yet lost (a 2-1 nail-biter) so he lived to whine another day.

We arrived at the HBF in Dortmund to a sea of people in yellow and black.  It looked like a giant bee hive, except instead of honey, there was beer.  The chanting was constant and god forbid some poor bastard wasn't paying attention when he got dressed this morning and had the audacity to wear red.  I wore white...nice and neutral.  These people are crazy superfans.  Everywhere was packed, the streets, the bars and the Promised Land...the BVB (Dortmund team merchandise) store at the mall.

Even the local supermarket had their own tribute to the home team.

 
Football and beer, German staples.  

Lesson for the day.  There are times to speak out and times to shut up.  The mark of a truly intelligent person is to know the difference.  A little noise never killed anyone but I'm quite sure a superior and righteous attitude has.

Credit to Moo who forwarded the article to me.  Moo, it might be easier to send a web link in future.  Saves the scanning time but it's awesome that you read it and thought of me.  Can't wait to see you in Rome.

Beddy Bye Time.

Ian

Day 43 - What we've got here is...a failure to communicate

Have you ever seen Cool Hand Luke?  Filmed with Paul Newman in 1967, it's a prison movie classic.  Con Air, sorry Nicholas Cage, not a classic prison movie, especially considering the lack of an actual prison.  Shawshank Redemption...Ok, admittedly a total classic, but Cool Hand Luke was first.  That movie coined the title of today's blog entry and made me consider communication and the power it has over us as a whole.

Imagine for a moment that you have the best idea in the world.  It's life changing, for you and everyone else.  The impact your idea has is mind boggling.  It is the catalyst for world peace, the end of hunger and poverty.  You've reversed global warming and negated the internal combustion engine, all with your idea.  Now imagine that you can't communicate the idea.  You can't speak or write any known language.  Imagine the frustration.  You'd likely want to tear your hair out.

I've been going through this, but on a much smaller scale. I haven't yet discovered the secret of world peace or figured out a way to save the ozone layer.  I have, however, not been able to communicate properly.  People here in Bochum almost always speak some degree of English.  Just this afternoon our downstairs neighbour dusted off her English skills and very eloquently explained to me how our "pounding footsteps" wakes them in the middle of the night.  It occured to me in that moment that I have absolutely no clue how to say pounding footsteps in German.  How would I tell an offending neighbour that their heavy footedness was disturbing my sleep?  The answer is...not easily.

There are many layers of communication, each of which has its own impact and significance.  Body language, unspoken agreements, unwritten rules, even sign language.  They all have relevance and they all mean something.  The trick is to learn as much of it as you can.  The more you know, as the old NBC saying goes.  This video provides some perspective...

Admittedly, I've been resisting the German language.  It's a convoluted and confusing language.  I simply cannot understand why everything has to have a gender, even inanimate objects.  Today, though, I figured something out.  I held the elevator door for a German man trying to catch his train.  He was cursing and swearing, I could see him.  He simply assumed that I would take the elevator and go as soon as possible.  I wasn't in a rush.  I saw him and called the elevator and waited holding the "door open" button so he could get in and when he saw me, he gave me a look like he'd won the lottery.  He got on the lift and was going on and on, in German of course, and between sips of his Brinkhoff's beer, there were numerous Danke Shoens and so on...he was very happy.  It occurred to me, at that moment, that I'd really like to know what he was saying.  Long story short, time to commit and learn German.  For real.

Moving on folks, but the lesson for today is a classic one.  It has vexed scholars for decades.  Nobody can eat 50 eggs.

Sleep tight.

Ian

Day 42 - An Amsterdam good time before we roam to Rome

So, as you all know, Kierstie and I have a trip to Rome upcoming.  We've booked the hotel but flights have been crazy priced for some reason (not that hotel was cheap).  After research for what seemed like hours upon hours, we determined that flying to Rome from Amsterdam is quite a bit cheaper.  Since Amsterdam is only 3 hours away by train, we said "To hell with it, lets do both".  So, we booked our flight to Rome from Amsterdam and we'll be spending 2 days in Amsterdam, followed immediately by 2 days in Rome.  

  
I know, I know...you're jealous. If I wasn't the one going, I would be too.  I can't wait to experience both cities, 2 places I've always wanted to go and now I get to go to both in the same week.  Canals in Amsterdam, Piazzas in Rome, sign me up.  The symbolism of our return tickets to Amsterdam is pretty sweet as well, our departure time is 4:20.  ;-)

Life has been a bit beige lately.  Not much new to blog about and I've been trying to focus on my book, but I'll try not to leave you hanging too long.  I'll have tons to share after our trip in the first week of June and I'll be updating as we go with local events of note.  The 25th anniversary of Starlight Express is coming up and there's an awards show for the cast as well as a gala ball, both of which we've been invited to as Cary's guests.  The gala ball will be attended by all manner of bigwigs and celebrities.   One person who I've been told will most certainly be there is Andrew Lloyd Webber, which would be cool.  Who knows who else might be there, it's one hell of a theater event over here in Europe.  I promise to take as many pictures as I can without being kicked out of the place.

One other thing for all you readers out there.  I began this blog hoping it was going to be more interactive.  I imagined readers asking me questions and challenging my views, but you all just read and move on.  Please...feel free to question me.  If you can't add a comment, facebook me.  I know the blog is not exactly user friendly at times, but I didn't create the page, just the text...don't hate the player, hate the game.

Lesson for the day.  Unless you're talking about some type of astrological event, there is no such thing as the "perfect time".  If you're waiting for the stars to align properly before you do something, you're just stalling.  Nike says it best...Just do it.

Ian Out...

Day 39 - Dante Touch, It's Hot!

Recent events have had me hearing about the 1st part of Dante's immortal classic, the Divine Comedy, over and over.  Inferno, according to Dan Brown in his latest novel, is a work of literature that has effected more people in history than any other, with the possible exception of the Bible.  Even then, Dante's work is credited with doubling, or even tripling, church attendance after it's publishing.  If that's the case, could the one have fed the other?  And, if so, how can one be considered to be more influential than the other?

Reference upon reference has been popping up at me.  Dan Brown's new book, an episode of Elementary and others, at least 5 references to the epic poem in the last week, all unrelated except for the subject matter.  It's downright mind boggling.  A work of fiction, written in the early 1300's, referenced in our popular culture with such regularity.  It's almost a certainty that your life has been shaped in some way, big or small, by Dante's work.  Images of Heaven and Hell in historically significant works of art are often based on Dante's work.  We've all heard reference to the famous lines in his writing, though you may not have known who's work it was at the time.  Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here!  That single line has more references in popular culture that I can explain in this blog.  

For you World of Warcraft fans, look at the sign at the entrance to Deadwind Pass.  For all you animated movie fans, Buck says that same line in Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.  Ted Mosby also recites part of Inferno in the 5th season of How I Met You Mother.  It's literally everywhere, and I've not even touched on the art and artists.  Botticelli, Dali, Michaelangelo, Rodin, the list goes on.  They all did works, important works, with Dante's epic as the muse.

The bitch of it is, I've never read it.  Not a word.  Me, a self proclaimed voracious reader and aspiring author.  If it wasn't so damned ironic, it might actually upset me.

Lesson for the day.  Someone ALWAYS knows more than you.  Those people may be few or they may be many.  They may be right next to you or on the other side of the world.  The fact remains that there is somebody, somewhere, who knows more...no matter who you are.  Remember that when you're sure that you're the best thing since sliced bread...you ain't all that.  And, obviously, neither am I.

Night all.

Ian 

Day 36 - Back in Black, Red and Yellow

OK, we made it back and London was amazing...but expensive.  I mean crazy expensive.  Basically, it's the same cost for everything there as in Canada, but in pounds.  Meaning a Beer in Canada costs about $5.00, and it would be the same in pounds in London, but a pound equals around $1.60 in Canadian dollars.  Crazy, right?  Especially since we are now used to German pricing for things like that, and it's WAY cheaper here for that type of thing.

So, London.  What can I say.  We saw some cool shit, ate some cool food and did some cool stuff.  The sights were amazing and the weather was stereotypically London, it rained 90% of the time.  Camden, where we rented our apartment, was really cool.  It was beatnik meets flea market.  Weird people, funky pubs and groovy shops.  I wish we'd had more time to explore, but it was a whirlwind tour for us.  

The Tube is very cool as well.  Expensive, like everything else, but cool.  The tunnels are all so small because the infrastructure is so old.  Neat shit, and it makes it fast to get around.  Cary warned us we'd be packed in like sardines, but it really wasn't bad at all, at least when we took the train.  A Tube map and 15 pounds will get you all over the centre of the city in a flash, fun shit.  And the best part?  The signs were all in English.  Learning a new language and a new culture is all well and good, everyone should do it if they can, but there's something to be said for signs and instructions in your native tongue.  It just makes life SO much easier.  There was one tube mishap, however.  While on out way for drinks at a pub near St. James, a guy about 15 feet down the car lost his shit and puked like a fountain all over the place.  Honestly, it sounded like someone took a full pitcher of water and dumped it on the floor.  There was one poor woman who got puke all over her legs, it was beyond nasty.  Kierstie proceeded to freak out and bust out the anti-bacterial gel, even though we were 15 feet away (she doesn't do puke, it's her Achilles heel) and the second we were able, we jumped out and popped into the adjoining car, along with about every other person on the car.  We felt so bad for the woman who got puked on, but she was very British in that she kept calm and carried on.  What the hell else was she gonna do?  She was already covered in vomit.

We saw a lot of London.  Soho was cool, big bucks, no whammies!  Cary said we'd probably see a celebrity but the only person of interest we saw was in a carriage on their way into Buckingham Palace and we have no idea who it was...

 It was an event.  There was all kinds of pomp going on, marching bands and guards with rifles that had honest to goodness bayonets attached.  I mean really, who needs a bayonet in the age of automatic rifles?  These guys, I guess!  

It wasn't a rave dahling, it was a happening!

Apologies for the video quality, I had a hard time getting a good vantage and I'm not my cousin Andy Rosso, who could have done a much better job.  The trip was a very like the Led Zeppelin song.  There were good times and there were bad times.  But hey, that's life, right?  Apologies for the delay in posting.  I didn't bring my laptop to London (a mistake I regret) and so I had no good means to post.  

We were all over the place, here are more pics...

The trip was a blast.  Stressful, but worth it.  People tend to get comfortable with their lot, to get complacent.  I know I did.  That leads to the lesson for this post.  Complacency is tantamount to death.  Not literally, of course, I'm talking in the abstract.  It is in the sense that the second we stop growing, personally or spiritually, you're literally just counting the seconds until you die.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you." and, to be truthful, I've had a little of that most days since we've been abroad.  Getting out of your comfort zone is what prompts personal growth.  You don't need to be as drastic as Kierstie and I.  Moving here was beyond scary, but we're going with it.  You can join a class or try a new sport.  You can do that thing you've always wanted to do, but never had time for.  You just have to get over your fear of failing and do it for yourself, regardless of the consequences.  Doing something and failing can't be as bad as regretting not doing it at all.  I've questioned our decision to come here.  Many, many times.  I remember our house, our friends and family, our things.  Then I remember why we came.  To grow and experience something new.  We are not our things and our friends and family will always be with us, regardless of our address.  London was an experience, I can't wait for Rome...and Moo and Earle.

It's late so no proofing on this post.  If you see a grammatical error or a typo, kindly ignore it.  Still getting tons of hits from Russia and now I have some Romanian viewers to add to the mix.  Appreciating the fans in the Eastern hemisphere, not to downplay my German audience who has been faithful since day 1.  Keep it coming folks, tell your friends.  The more people who view, the more pressured I am to write, and I do me best work under pressure.

Night all, more posts to come.

Ian

Day 32 - London Lullaby

Sorry folks, no time for a big post tonight.  Gotta hit the sack soon since we need to be up at the crack of dawn to catch our flight to London.  Camera batteries are all charged, I will be snapping pics like a demon.  One thing to think about, though.  Here in Germany, when you use your bank card, sometimes you enter you PIN and sometimes you just sign.  How freakin' weird is that?

Lesson for the day?  Sometimes, there is no lesson.  Sometimes, shit happens.  Nothing to do about it, nothing you can say and nothing to learn from it.  Just go with it.  You are, however, allowed to be bitter about it.  ;-)

Nighty nite...

Ian

Day 31 - Thar She Blows...Out Her Nose!

Ok, so today it rained.  A lot.  Immediately following there was a spectacular rainbow outside.  Biggest I've ever seen, actually.  I managed to capture it, but I'm not sure the pic does it justice.  I tired for 10 minutes to get Kierstie to come with me to try and find the pot of gold, she wasn't falling for it.  That was probably for the best, those damn Leprechauns are hard to catch, or so I've been told.  

  

So I've been continuing to write my masterpiece of a novel.  I'm at 6 pages...I know, ridiculous, right?  I find myself re-reading and changing and correcting and editing and it's SO much harder than one might think.  I am about to write more so this post will be shorter than normal...sorry.  I need to focus.  I spoke to my Mom today, Best Moo Ever.  She always seems to know what to say to make me feel better about things.  Mothers day tomorrow and I've been wracking my brain, trying to think what to send.  She's not a "flowers" type of woman, my Mom is ever practical, and she's the type that will get something if she wants it, all by herself.  As a result, it's hard to come up with ideas.  I found one, though.  I'll just send my pages for critique.  She'd love to be part of the process, even if it's terrible and never gets published.  

I did have something to share with everyone though.  Be warned, it's damaging to the psyche and, once seen, it can't be unseen.  We have a lot of "unusual" characters that live in our neighbourhood.  We give them nicknames like Calamity Jane (Seriously weird, shaved head German woman with a fondness for Rot Wein).  Tequila Time is a beggar woman who hangs in front of the Back Werk saying, what sounds like, "Tequila Time" over and over like a mantra.  I'm sure it means something different, but hey, we just had Cinco de Mayo, so it really could be Tequila Time.  Well, I managed to capture an image of another neighbourhood oddity yesterday.  I just call her "Tits Galore".  The name speaks for itself, but trust me, it's not Tits Galore in a good way.  She has a tendency to plug a nostril and blow the funk out of the other one with gusto and if that doesn't work, she'll just get a finger in there and dig as deep as she's able...all in full view of whoever is nearby.  Enjoy folks, but remember, if you've a weak stomach, you've been warned.  Just so you know, that left hand was en route to an epic nose pic of the left nostril that lasted almost the whole block...and she is not a fast walker.

Lesson for the day.  If the above picture is not irrefutable proof of the fact that it's possible to have "too much of a good thing", I don't know what is.  Keep it in mind.  All things in moderation is a good motto, but hey, I think it's okay to cut loose once in a while...as long as you've got a good brazier. 

Good night all, I'm on to writing my masterpiece.

Ian

Day 29 - he he he he he...Wipeout!

Da na na na na na na na, Da na na na na na na na na...Insert drum solo here.  Yes folks, I wiped out today.  I went skating, sped down a hill and as I turned at the bottom and there was a bunch of those green things that fall off the trees.  Not leaves, I'm not that stupid, it's the other things, whatever the hell they are.  They look like the whirly birds that fall off in trees at home.  Long story short, I hit them, I slipped, I scraped...c'est la vie.  I gave Kierstie a bit of a heart attack but in the end it's just a couple of scrapes, no big deal.  It's one of those "Looks worse than it is" type of injuries, the best kind to have...trust me on that.

 

Today was yet another German holiday.  I decided to look it up and discovered something that leads me to believe that the Germans are a little more crazy than I thought.  There are 2-3 more holidays this month, then nothing...not one national holiday...until October.  Can you imagine the insanity?  No summer long weekends, nada.  It's official, they're nuts.  Then again, it makes a sick sort of sense.  I wouldn't feel like celebrating if I had no access to air conditioning, either.

Anyways, I'm 3/4 of the way drunk now.  Kierstie is tired and so am I.  I now have to go to bed fully clothed to avoid getting my scrape mess all over Kierstie's nice clean sheets.  I imagine I'll be sweating like a pig all night (do pigs actually sweat that much?) and driving her crazy with my tossing and turning.  All told, today I've had undercooked fries, an over cooked Geflugerolle, calf and forearm and a lukewarm beer, served 15 minutes later than it should have been.  I should be fuming and pissed, but I'm not...surprisingly.  I'm just plain pissed...on wine.  

Lesson for today, one I now have more faith in than I did this morning.  Watch where the fuck you're going!

sleep well...

Ian

Day 28 - It'll be a bit o' alright, Guvna!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, we're officially booked.  Ground control to Major Tom...get the hell outta the way, we're coming through to LONDON.  I was asked to make a list of the things I want to see but I just decided it would be easier to forgo the list and just tell Cary to show me everything...hehe.  Anyway, as I said, I will take pics and so forth to share.  I can't wait!

On to other things.  Today was lazy.  Kierstie was a bit grumpy, but then she got better and then I got grumpy, but we made it home and had some nice food and a beer or two and all settled down just fine.  Started back into the Bates Motel series after a brief absence...killer show (pun intended).  Other than that, I skated and it rained, not exactly a banner day.  On the other hand, any day above ground is a success, if you think about it.

I remembered a little story when I was on the Skype with my parents.  It was when we were in Cologne a while back and we were sitting at a beautiful Italian bistro patio, watching the world go by.  A guy pulled up on the most incredible Ducati I've ever seen.  It was really badass.  All black and sleek, it looked more like  a work of art than a motorcycle and it sounded amazing.  Anyway, I was looking at the bike and commenting on it and I got blank stares from Christian, Cary and Kierstie...they are not motorcycle fans.  Then I noticed it had one of those stupid tank bags on it.  A huge affair that was higher than the handle bars and messed up the entire look of the bike.  I was leaning over to Kierstie to tell her that the guy was a moron for taking a beautiful bike like that and ruining it with that ridiculous addition...then I saw why he had it there.

 

The little pooch popped his head out and peered around as if to say "Yeah, this is my bike and he's my chauffeur."  His little goggles and helmet made me pee my pants, truly hysterical.  Whoever you are Ducati man, I take back what I said, the bag is the perfect addition for your little co-pilot.

I've started a love affair with someone, but don't tell Kierstie.  My new lady knows the way to my heart...through my stomach.  It's the lovely Frau who works in the place where I buy the Frikadellan (again, probably spelled wrong) and for some reason, she just loves me.  I went today and got another one and she saw me and recognized me and started rambling on in German.  I told her I don't speak German and she smiled and laughed and rattled off even more German, then she ceremoniously handed my my sandwich, with the remoulade like I like it, and sent me on my way with a smile and more German.  Later that day, Kierstie and I went back to get a cooked chicken and they were out but they had a half chicken so we got that.  More German ramblings and heartfelt smiles, then she popped in an extra piece of chicken for free.  She is very nice, or at least she appears to be.  For all I know, she threw it in the bag saying "Choke on it, you English speaking bastard", but I doubt it.  What can I say, I'm a charming guy...hehe.

That's all I have for today, but as per usual, I'll pop in a lesson that I came across today.  Never has a saying been so true as "You hurt the ones you love".  It's true because a person can only be truly hurt by someone they love.  Others can offend, injure or just plain piss us off, but only loved ones can really hurt us.  The lesson is simple...apologize.  If you hurt someone you love, say you're sorry.  There's no shame in it because if you've hurt someone you love, then obviously you love them.  That means their feelings matter as much or more then your own.  Or at least they should, if you truly love them.  If you hurt someone you love and have no desire to apologize or explain or at least make amends, maybe it's time to rethink that particular relationship.

A little deep maybe, but hey, I'm the Marianas Trench over here.  Well over a thousand page views on the blog now folks, with lots of hits from Russia and Azerbaijan for some reason.  Messed up, no?  Thanks for the support and tell your friends cause I like to see my numbers climb.

Sleep Tight.

Ian

Day 27 - What you talkin' bout, puten?

Ok, no excuses for my recent laziness with the blog.  Just getting through and getting by, I guess, I'm sure you all understand.  If you don't...well, tough titties. 

Something occurred to me about this blog.  I find myself wanting to swear at times and, other than the occasional "shit", I've not done it for fear of offending.  Well, if you're not the type to like the odd f-word, you may want to stop reading.  I've been reading a new author and his work is rife with "fucks" and "dickheads".  The writing is not that great but I did notice that his dialogue was enhanced with the cursing, it made it easier to relate to.  Therefore I said fuck it and am going to do what I need to do.  Moving on.

So, the Rathaus is pretty much the same as any other government building.  Confusing, inhospitable and just generally imposing.  The lady we spoke to (well, Christian spoke to her, the bitch just ignored us) was extremely rude and looked like a huge poker up her ass was the least of her obviously considerable issues.  After a (thankfully) brief exchange, we were issued an appointment in July.  My first inclination was to scoff and say "Are you fucking kidding me?" but I reined it in and decided to go with the flow.  My day went much better as a result.  We had beer, ate Frichadellan (No clue if that's spelled correctly) and just generally malaised (I know malaised is not a word but again, it's my blog so my rules) about town.  The Frichdellan is ground meat, in this case turkey (or puten in German), that's deep fried in burger form and plopped on some delicious German brot.  I assure you, it's as tasty as it sounds, deep fried turkey burgers...to die for.  They're like Lays, betcha can't eat just one. 

News came down today.  Cary has an audition for a traveling show based out of London.  That means we're going to London next week, fuck yeah!  Been eager to go for ever and now it looks as though it's gonna go down.  Trafalgar Square, London Dungeons, guards with tall furry hats...it's going to be a blast.  I promise to go full tourist and take a zillion pics to share.  Kierstie has been before and I haven't so she's excited to play tour guide to her ignorant husband...hehe.  Also, we've booked our hotel in Rome for June.  We're meeting my parents there and I can't wait.  Flights are stupid pricey though, I am hoping they go down in the next day or two.  We're in "wait and see" mode.

Lesson for the day.  If a Turkish barber comes at you with a flaming cotton ball, don't freak out...He's just doing his job.

Ian  

Day 25 - Ugh.

Obviously, I've had a brief hiatus from the blogosphere.  Recent events notwithstanding, I've had nothing particular to talk about.  I am still having issues, Germany is great, but it's not Canada.

We saw Cary's show again today.  It was a good time again, from a different perspective in the audience, and Cary played a different part.  We went for drinks after and now we're parked on the couch, watching Angleas Ashes.  If you've not seen it, I highly recommend, but it's not a feel good tale.  It's a tear jerker, for sure. 

Seems a lot of things are tear jerkers lately.  Homesick a little, I guess.  Still, we're ok, getting on with things.  All is good, there's nothing wrong, I'm just in a bit of a funk.

Lesson for the day, if it can be called that, is to try and speak your mind.  I guess that's more advice rather than a lesson, but hey, it's my blog.  If you feel that you need to say something, you should say it, even if you know it'll bite you in the ass.  Still working on following that advice myself, but I figured I'd share anyway...maybe some of you are smarter than I am and will actually take it to heart.

Sorry for the short post, been focused on other things lately, but I do have some fun stories to tell, though.  I'll share a few on tomorrows post.

Nighty night.

Ian

Day 22 - Efficiency for Dummies

I am seriously forced to wonder where the Germans got the worldwide reputation for efficiency.  Having been here for 22 days now, I can personally attest to the fact that my experience has shown the opposite to be true.  My recent foray into the German banking system has included numerous hurdles.  The staff at the bank have been friendly and as helpful as possible, the issue is that they just can't do anything.  My current issue is specifically with the bank card.  

Imagine, if you will, that you've gone to the bank in Canada and want to take out some cash from the bank machine.  You slip in your card and realize the card doesn't work, so what do you do?  You go to the teller, tell them your card is broken and they give you a new one, right?  Well, not here in Germany.  Here, they have to send it to you in 3-5 days, followed days later by a whole new PIN, so that the entire time you have absolutely no way to get money or pay for things other than with cash withdrawn from a teller in the bank.  A bank, I might add, that has terrible hours and is hotter then the 9th level of hell due to the disturbing lack of air conditioning.  A lack that seems to effect the entire country which scares the hell out of me with the summer coming, but I digress.

So, our first cards never arrived.  Germany's addresses are dependent on names, not apartment numbers.  So, as a result, if the name is not on the mailbox, they just don't deliver it.  That's just bloody mind boggling.  The identity theft implications alone are staggering with the names of the residents on display, right there beside the address.  We did not know this, so we had to go into the bank, again, and get another set of cards sent.  

Next, our PINs arrived, followed days later by the cards.  We went to the bank machine and tried my card, the PIN didn't work.  I figured it was because the PIN was for the original card, not the new ones we received, so we left.  A few days later, because of yet ANOTHER German holiday, still no PINs.  We decide to go to the bank and try again, thinking maybe I used the wrong PIN or whatever.  I tried the one PIN, no go.  I tried the other, to be sure, and the machine happily informed me that my card was now inactive since I used the incorrect PIN 3 times.  Guess what that means...yep, you guessed it.  Now I need a whole new freakin' card along with a new damn PIN, another almost 2 weeks and my 3rd card and I still have yet to even use a machine.  Efficiency MY ASS!  I do not get it, how is this good business?  I plan to default my card indefinitely, just to make them keep paying to send me an infinite supply of cards over and over and over until the end of time.  

There are all sorts of stupid things like this in Germany.  It took Cary almost a month to have his internet installed.  Imagine that, a month.  Another thing that I can't grasp is services.  Cary bought an expensive TV and paid for installation and wall mounting.  These "professionals" showed up unprepared, with wall plugs and no stud finder in evidence, and after poking holes, they calmly stated they were unable to do it.  In Canada, someone would have been fired over that.  There are many more examples, but just typing this is making me extremely annoyed, so it's best I wrap up and go finish the bottle.

Lesson for the day, if the above was not already clear enough, is simple.  Reputations are worth exactly shit.  Judge for yourself rather than assuming what you've heard has merit.  That being said, it's a safe bet that my reputation as a writing phenom is well earned.  ;-)

Don't let the bed bugs bite...

Ian

 

Day 21 - Guests at the Table

Last night we had guests, which is why I was unable to blog.  I know, there are millions of admiring fans who are disappointed and upset but what was I to do?  I couldn't take off and ignore the people Cary and Christian invited over and the get together lasted well into the wee hours so there was no time to complete anything of substance.

The people who came were cast mates of Cary's from Starlight Express.  We entertained Abbey, Carl and Mikey and we all had a wonderful time.  Drinks were consumed and I did my best to educate the uninitiated about the awesomeness of the Tragically Hip.  Alas, I think too many beers made the reception a little less memorable than otherwise might have been expected, but there's always next time.  I've started a new love affair with Schwartzbier.  It's black, flavourful and is smooth as glass, I am consuming one right now.  I assure you, it's damn good.

Today is a holiday in Germany.  It may be a tad ignorant, but I have no idea why it's a holiday, I assume it's just because they wanted a day off to drink some Schwarzbier.  Thus, I name today Schwartzbier Day, officially.  That being said, I think anyone who is so inclined should mosey on over to the beer store and see if there is a German Schwartzbier available to partake in this, now official, holiday.  The truth is that they love the spring here in Germany, so this is some kind of May Day holiday, but I think Schwartzbier Day sounds much better, so I'm going with it.

My roller skating is also progressing nicely.  I've gone out as often as possible and all the children look at my skates like they're from another planet, it's entertaining as hell.  I can tell by the looks on their faces that they're unsure if the 4-wheeled skates are cool or just plain weird.  

I've finally started writing my book.  It's set in Germany, at least for now, and will be an epic best seller, I'm sure.  That's just me using the power of positive thinking, not my extreme arrogance...I promise.  I've written one whole page, and I'm quite sure I hate all of it, but my research says that it's normal to feel this way.  Just keep writing, they say, and fix it later.  So I will do exactly that.  

I've been trying to "find myself" since we've been here.  It's an overplayed term, to be sure, but I'm using it because it's a good stand by phrase.  Much better than "contemplating the meaning of life" or "soul searching" in my opinion.  The reason I chose "finding myself" is part of my lesson for today.  The saying implies something that most people seem to ignore.  In order to "find yourself", you actually have to get lost first. And here I am, lost amidst a sea of beer and pork products with Kierstie by my side.  As a self proclaimed "Man's Man", I'm not sure I'd ask for directions...even if I wanted to.   

Ian